Lazy Blogging Saturday

It’s been a while since I looked at the search engine keywords on Goggle Analytics for this site. It’s a little depressing to find that PZ Myers turns up three times (“pharyngula,” “Pharyngula,” and “PZ Myers”) before my own name. Worse yet, Aaron Bergman, who doesn’t even have a blog any more, also shows up three times before I do. Aaron, start blogging again. Or get a LiveJournal account, given that “aaron bergman livejournal” is the fifth most popular search term on this site. Give the people what they want, already.

There are also lots of people wanting to know how many substitutions you can make in a World Cup soccer match (three, which I learned thanks to a comment), a wide variety of people looking for diet advice, and a whole bunch of people looking for an explanation of why we put salt on icy roads and what sort of signals the brain uses. Good luck with the term papers, kids.

As usual, the fun stuff isn’t until much lower down in the search terms:

• “how+to+tell+your+advisor+you’re+leaving+graduate+school” I suppose that depends on why you’re leaving graduate school…
• “Four+Famous+Women+Astronomers+that+are+living+today(Black+Holes)” Good luck with that term paper.
• “How+can+I+tell+if+my+projector+bulb+is+burnt+out?” Well, for starters, it doesn’t emit any light…
• “principles+of+Basketball” 1) Play defense, 2) Rebound the ball, 3) Keep your mouth shut.
• “WHAT+KIND+OF+JOBS+CAN+YOU+GET+IN+THE+PHYSICS+FIELD” Very few that involve SHOUTING.
• “constipated+mathematician+jokes” There’s more than one?
• “history+of+galileo+newton+archimedes+einstein” How much time do you have?
• “pay+scale+for+a+principle+of+a+school” You get more money if you can spell “principal”…
• “principles+of+beer+drinking” 1) Bring beer to mouth, 2) Pour beer into mouth, 3) Swallow.
• “plugging+”electrocution”+”dog”” Emmy doesn’t like this one.
• “2piR+on+t+what+is+it+again” Good luck with that test.
• “good+story+to+tell+girlfriends” That one about the strippers would be great. Trust me on this.
• “chad’s+educational+system+on+grades” The best student in the class gets an A, everybody else goes down from there.
• “serach+for+the+physical+excercises+which+increase+the+height+at+the+age+of+22” Barry Bonds to the white courtesy phone, please…
• “Chad+the+diet” Who knew there was a market for this?
• “contact+email+address+of++private+gym+instructors++in+japan+2006” Just a second, I’ve got that around here somewhere…
• “is+there+a+lot+of+diving+in+soccer?” God, yes.

And on that note, I’m going to go watch some soccer on tv…