Like most pieces in McSweeney’s, the lette denying Indiana Jones tenure goes on a bit too long, but it has its moments:
The lone student representative on the committee wished to convey that, besides being an exceptional instructor, a compassionate mentor, and an unparalleled gentleman, Dr. Jones was extraordinarily receptive to the female student body during and after the transition to a coeducational system at the college. However, his timeliness in grading and returning assignments was a concern.
(Via The Little Professor)
Indiana Jones’ problem was a simple matter of misunderstood grammar. He thought that “perish” was a transitive verb, and thought the saying was “perish or be perished.”
Other than that, he was pretty much bang on.