Act I:
STEELYKID and THE PIP: Happy Father’s Day, Daddy!
DADDY: Aww, that’s sweet. So, what are you going to make me for breakfast?
STEELYKID and THE PIP: What?
DADDY: It’s father’s day, right? So you guys should be cooking breakfast for me.
STEELYKID and THE PIP: No!!!!
THE PIP: We can’t cook breakfast for you. We’re not tall enough to bake stuff. And, also, we’re not allowed to cook.
DADDY: Well, I’m your father, so I can give you permission to cook breakfast.
STEELYKID: Yeah, but we don’t know how to cook.
THE PIP: Yeah, so you have to cook pancakes for us!
DADDY: Oh, all right. I guess I can do that. {Heads into kitchen}
{End of Act I}
Act II:
{DADDY is in the kitchen, cooking pancakes. A very loud THUMP comes from the living room.}
DADDY: [The Pip], what are you doing in there?
THE PIP: Nothing, now.
DADDY: What were you doing just now that resulted in a big loud THUMP?
THE PIP: Well, I’m not going to tell you.
DADDY {walking into the living room with a pancake}: I see. Well, do you know what we do to toddlers who make big loud THUMP noises and won’t tell what they did?
THE PIP: No…
DADDY: We tickle them!
{Wild shrieks of laughter. Curtain.}
So, that’s how my morning is going. Hope the other fathers out there are getting backtalk that’s half as cute.
Daughter, 16, has not yet risen. A card was left on my computer keyboard that announces that, front cover, “We live on a Gigantic Rock that circles a massive Ball of Gas that is hurtling through infinity And We Don’t Really have a satisfying answer to why that is happening”, and, inside, hand-written, “ISN’T THAT WILD”, and other, soppier stuff. Card fails to mention that said rock also rotates in a weird way that causes the Solstice, also celebrated today, so am uncertain whether said card is for Father’s Day or for Solstice.
“Daddy” in heart on envelope tends towards former option, since pretty sure that earth’s orbit is not heart shaped. Suggestion that family orbits around Daddy is doubtful.