It’s Independence Day here in the US, so here are some patriotic kid photos for you.
“Wait a minute,” you say, “That featured image doesn’t have any flags or fireworks or gilled meat products! How is that patriotic?”
“Ah,” I reply,”It was taken at the American Museum of Natural History in NYC last weekend.” Game. Set. Match.
Here are a couple of other pictures from that visit:
And since I’ve already had to bite back a couple of “Oh, go fuck yourself” responses to political tweets, I’m going to give the Internet a miss for the rest of the day, and spend the holiday as the Founding Fathers would’ve wanted: taking the kids to see animatronic dinosaurs at the local science museum.
“Wait,” you say, because for the purposes of this post, you are a tiresome pedant. “They didn’t know anything about dinosaurs in 1776. It was the 1830’s before the first dinosaur species were described.”
“Oh, please,” I reply. “Do you seriously think that Thomas Jefferson and Benjamin Franklin would pass up a chance to see freakin’ robots? At a science museum? They would’ve been all over that shit. And you don’t get more patriotic than Franklin and Jefferson…”
And just as a bonus, here are two more kid pictures where you can actually see their faces.
And a bonus seasonally appropriate music video:
Have a great day, whether it involves robotic dinosaurs or not.
But wait, doesn’t the Creation Museum have a reconstruction (not a model, definitely not a computer model) of Thomas Jefferson riding a triceratops?
A reading from the Book of Hicks:
And Jesus and the disciples walked down the path towards Nazareth but, oh, the path was blocked by a giant brontosaurus with a splinter in his paw. And the disciples did run a-screamin’, “What a big fuckin’ lizard, Lord!”
“I’m sure gonna mention this in my book”, ..said Luke.
“Well, I’m sure gonna mention it in my book”, ..said Matthew.
“I’m not sure what I saw”, …said Thomas. Timothy nudged him. “It was a big fuckin’ lizard, Thomas!”
But Jesus was unafraid. And he took the splinter from the brontosaurus’ paw and the brontosaurus became his friend. And Jesus sent him to Scotland where he lived in a loch oh, so many years attracting fat American families with their fat fuckin’ dollars to look for the Loch Ness Monster. And oh, the Scots did praise the Lord. Thank you, Lord. Thank you, Lord.
(There are quire a few versions of this around, but this is close to the one I have on CD somewhere.)