Next up in our series of science-themed Christmas ornaments is this squirrel:
A reminder that you can’t trust those furry little bastards…
What do squirrels have to do with science? As Emmy (and any other dog) will tell you, squirrels are representatives of all that is evil and twisted. And, unfortunately, science is just as plagued by evil hucksters as any other human endeavor. There are evil squirrels all over the place, telling you that quantum measurement lets you think your way to immortality, or nonsensical phony quantum states are the key to infinite free energy, or any of a thousand other scams masquerading as science.
So, when you go out and explore the world of science, be vigilant, and watch out for evil squirrels. They can be identified by the fact that they’re asking you for money, and that their claims sound too good to be true (because they’re not true). If you see one, feel free to bark at them until they run away.
Looks like you need a squirrel shield, then the evil squirrel would be sliding off or holding on to the chain with a toe vainly trying to reach the edge. Or an ornament of my dad with his pellet gun hanging off a little ways.
While I recognize the veracity of what you are saying and even recognize that dogs foolishly also consider cats to be evil, a character flaw of many less sentient beings, that sometimes simple barking isn’t enough and in fact barking maybe why the squirrels never stop and always come back. A cat is a bit more efficient in the whole process…however, they can also be a bit more “cruel” in the process, causing the cats pet to nearly throw up, before completely dispatching the squirrel to the great nut hatch in the sky. Cool ornament though.