Lots of people are giving Obama props for the shout-out to atheists in his inaugural address, but I’m deeply concerned about what he said. Or, rather, what he didn’t say:
We are a nation of Christians and Muslims, Jews and Hindus — and non-believers.
Where are the Buddhists? He left out a major world religion!
“Oh, well, what harm can it do?” you may be thinking. “There aren’t that many Buddhists in the US, after all, and they’re not really concerned with worldly things.” This is a dangerously naive view of the world.
If pop culture teaches us anything, it’s don’t mess with the Buddhists. The smiling little bald dude in the saffron robe may look harmless, but if you provoke him, he will mess you up.
For the sake of the nation, I call on President Obama to issue an immediate apology, before Pai Mei and his five-point palm exploding heart technique come into play. We can’t afford the chaos that would result.
Unless, of course, Obama spent those childhood years in Indonesia learning some kick-ass martial arts (hey, man, it could happen). In which case, pass the popcorn.