After reading my LiveJournal friends list, I wander downstairs to talk to Kate. “I have an important question. Are we going to let FutureBaby read those agonizing kids books where the dog dies at the end?”
“I certainly hope not!” says the dog. “We don’t like those books. Books where the dog dies. We don’t like those books at all.”
“Well,” Kate says, “I don’t know how we’ll avoid it. They keep assigning them in schools, after all.”
“That’s a good point.” We’re quiet for a minute, except for the dog, who mutters darkly about the bad lessons taught to young humans.
“I suppose we could claim some sort of religious objection to books where beloved pets die,” I say.
“Ooooh! Yes!” says the dog, “That’s a good plan! The Church of Me! I’m the best, and I demand worship!”
“Hush, you,” I say.
“Thou Shalt Rub the Belly!” she says.
Well, we need it to be a plausible religious objection, after all…
I refuse to read the Odyssey anymore because I hate reading the part where Argos dies.
If you haven’t seen them, may I suggest this:
http://www.cafepress.com/dogs_of_war/2691216
I am so glad that my dog doesn’t read this blog. I really don’t want her getting ideas.
(“The Time Of Getting Out Of Bed And Feeding Me is NIGH!”)
Will FutureBaby be issued a rocketpack once s/he can hold his/her head up? (In the event of a sibling at some point in the future, what happens if that sibling turns out to be RetroBaby?)
Let’s hope that Emmy doesn’t become disgruntled when Future Baby starts receiving most of the “worship.”
And while Emmy is opining, I wonder if she has any comments on dogs vs. robots.
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080229/ap_on_he_me/dogs_loneliness
Will FutureBaby be issued a rocketpack once s/he can hold his/her head up?
I’m hoping for a flying car seat.
And while Emmy is opining, I wonder if she has any comments on dogs vs. robots.
She’s not a big fan of the robot vacuum cleaner. She finds it freaky, as it’s obviously not alive, and yet it chases her around the room. It’s very distressing.
I don’t want to know what she would make of a robot dog.
You could also just teach FutureBaby at home and make his reading list yourself. Just a thought 🙂
You’ll be happy to know your “religion” already has a church. The Dog Chapel is real, it is in Vermont and sits on top of Dog Mountain. (The artist who created it also wrote great dog-centric illustrated books.) There is no pastor for the chapel at this time. Perhaps you have a second calling in life?
For the record, I hated Old Yeller. Much worse than a book about a dog’s demise. Disney was a sadist.
Let’s hope that Emmy doesn’t become disgruntled when Future Baby starts receiving most of the “worship.”