Inspired by a thread at Fark, John Lynch asks an interesting question:
If you could go back in time and tell your 12-year old self one thing, what would it be?
Janet has some thoughts as well.
Leaving aside obvious stuff like “Buy Microsoft stock,” what I would say to my twelve-year-old self is this:
Get over yourself.
(Continued…)
You’re not getting picked on in school because your classmates are jealous that you’re smarter than they are (nerd apologia notwithstanding). You’re getting picked on because you’re annoying about it.
You can be the smartest guy in the room without rubbing it in people’s faces. You can listen to people talk about topics that don’t interest you without showing contempt for their interests. Yes, The Dukes of Hazzard is the stupidest show on tv, but there’s no good purpose served by saying that. You may not be a fan of professional sports now (that will change, by the way), but that does not mean that other people are stupid for liking football or baseball.
In short, your life will get a whole lot better the minute you acquire some social skills. Work on that, will you?
Oh, and buy Microsoft stock. Trust me.
In short, your life will get a whole lot better the minute you acquire some social skills. Work on that, will you?
While you’re there, drop by my 12-year-old self with the same message, will you? Maybe explain “social skills” a little: “You have to live with people, whether you like it or not, so — since you’re so smart, remember? — why not figure out how to do it with a minimum of friction? Think, dammit: why do we have societies in the first place? What are manners and mores for? It’s a game, you just have to figure out the rules.”
I don’t know what I would say to my 12-year-old self. I was the type of kid who would always do the opposite of what I was told by grown-ups. Even when I was older, I was still thumbing my nose at grown-ups just to annoy them and get under their skin deliberately.
I think the only thing which could have “worked” on my 12-year-old self, was some form of “reverse” psychology. (Though my parents and other grown-ups were never able to figure that out). One example would be a scenario of a kid wanting to skip the freshman college sequence of physics courses, and going straight into the junior/senior undergrad courses. The normal way would be to say NO to the kid. The reverse psychology way would be to tell the kid that if they want to be in over their heads, go right ahead. Be my guest.
I would show my 12-year-old self how to throw a proper punch with some weight behind it.
It would have served me much better to start doing that much, much earlier than I did.
Funny, I just recently read the Time Traveler’s Wife. So I’d probably tell myself to lose weight and start beating the shit out of certain people who were sure to come my way, or put up with less guff in less violent but equally effective ways in other circumstances.
Nice exercise… The more so since I have a 8-years old son and I am constantly trying to understand what is better for me to tell him and what not.
At 12, I did not need to be told how to land a punch, or how to avoid being picked on. I would have benefitted from being told how great it is to play tennis and chess, two sports I started too late, to my regret.
Hmmm and I would explain my 12yo self a few basics about girls… Things I did not understand until the fun years were gone by.
T.