July Search Engine Keywords

I’m very pleased to report that in the month of July, no less than 35 people found this site by searching for some variant of the phrase “Queen of Niskayuna.” The dog’s going to be insufferable when she hears this. I’m also pleased to report that Aaron Bergman no longer shows up in the top ten results– Chris Mooney does show up before I do, but at least I’m the second proper name in the search terms list.

Of course, a disturbing number of people also got here by searching for some variant of “butt propellor” and, in one case, “balloon ass.” I really, really, didn’t need to know that.

Anyway, below the fold are some of my favorite queries, courtesy of Google Analytics.

• “atheists are smart but mean” That’s what they tell me.
• “Werewolves” There wolves.
• “what+did+materazzi+say+to+zidane?” I wish I knew.
• “ethanol+beatle+yeast” Equals one disgusting smoothie.
• “snorkeling+orzel+biologist” Believe me, there are days when I wish I was…
• “taking+notes+for+astronomy+lecture” I highly recommend it.
• “how+do+you+solve+physics+word+problems+9th+grade” Very, very carefully. Sometimes using a calculator.
• “string+theory+is+nonsense” You said it, not me.
• “bmi+and+wasit+circumference+cut+off+points+for+indian+children” What a weirdly specific and totally inscrutable query.
• “you+ever+been+around+anything+this+fast+before” Well, there was this one time on Spring Break, but I’m married now…
• “how+do+americans+view+the+world+cup+football+match” On tv, mostly, sometimes with Spanish-language announcers.
• “Jim+Boeheim’s+wife” A perennial favorite.
• “true+slut+stories” Are you ever in the wrong place…
• “futurama+string+theory” The preserved head of Ed Witten was putting the final touches on M-Theory, when Fry unplugged it by mistake…
• “learning a physics word daily” Probably a good idea. I’ve always been partial to “pseudo-potential.”
• “WHAT+DID+MATERAZZI+SAY+TO+ZIDANE” I TOLD YOU, I DON’T KNOW!!!
• “fernando+torres+tattoos+not+elvish” Hate to disappoint you, but he’s a nerd. It’s Elvish.

• “artillery+brings+class++”what+would+otherwise+be”” I kind of hope this guy didn’t find what he was after…
• “funny+engineers” That’s “oxymoron dot com”– “o” “x” “y”…
• “dog+sign+up+for+blogging” She’s more likely to go for LiveJournal. The “friends” concept appeals to her.
• “100+psychology+vocabulary+terms” It’s bad enough that I get textbook offers intended for the Psychology department, now I’m getting their blog traffic?
• “pimp+in+the+side+uk+classical+car” Ummm… Yo? Word, um, up?
• “Dwayne simpkins” Say hello to the University of Maryland parking police, everybody.
• “naked under my lab coat” Well, isn’t that nice. I hope you and #13 find each other.
• “who sang the door’s hit ‘people are strange”” And they say there are no stupid questions…