You Can’t Tell the Players Without a Program

Via Jim Henley, a handy guide to the key denominations, terms, and concepts in Christianity:

Catholics
Catholics are the New York Yankees of Christianity. They are the biggest and wealthiest team, and their owner is intensely controversial (this makes St. Francis of Assisi the Derek Jeter of Catholicism: discuss). Catholics all wear matching uniforms, and are divided into “parishes,” or “squadrons,” to make choosing softball teams easier. Catholics are rigidly controlled by a hidebound hierarchy that starts with priests and ends with priests’ housekeepers. Catholics are not allowed to read the Bible, eat meat, or refrain from worshipping statues.

The Internet: Helping the easily confused since September, 1993.

4 comments

  1. please. If you want a Yankees-related Pope figure, you have to go with Casey Stengel!

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