{"id":4689,"date":"2010-05-14T11:36:58","date_gmt":"2010-05-14T11:36:58","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/scienceblogs.com\/principles\/2010\/05\/14\/bohemian-mechanics\/"},"modified":"2010-05-14T11:36:58","modified_gmt":"2010-05-14T11:36:58","slug":"bohemian-mechanics","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/chadorzel.com\/principles\/2010\/05\/14\/bohemian-mechanics\/","title":{"rendered":"Bohemian Mechanical Rhapsody"},"content":{"rendered":"

Blame Bryan O’Sullivan<\/a> for this– after his comment about misreading “Bohmian Mechanics” as “Bohemian Mechanics,” I couldn’t get this silly idea out of my head. And this is the result.<\/p>\n

I like to think that this was Brian May<\/a>‘s first draft (he does have a Ph.D. in astrophysics, after all), before Freddie Mercury got hold of it:<\/p>\n

\n

Is this the real life?
\nIs this just fantasy?
\nDo objects have real states
\nOr just probabilities?<\/p>\n

Open your eyes
\nLook up to the skies and see<\/p>\n

Studying quantum (poor boy<\/i>), I need no sympathy
\nBecause I’m easy come, easy go
\nA little psi, little rho
\nNo interpretation ever really matters to me, to me<\/p>\n

Mama, just killed a cat
\n‘Least I think I might’ve did
\nWon’t know ’til I lift the lid
\nLocal realism was fun
\nBut now I’ve gone and thrown it all away
\nMama, ooo
\nDidn’t mean to make you cry
\nIf I’m incoherent this time tomorrow
\nCalculate, calculate, as if nothing really matters<\/p>\n

Too late, my state’s collapsed
\nSends shivers down my spine
\nDecohering all the time
\nGoodbye determinism- you’ve got to go
\nGotta leave you all behind for random chance
\nEinstein, ooo – (anyway the wind blows<\/i>)
\nGod should not play dice
\nI sometimes wish I’d never read Born at all<\/p>\n

I see a little silhouetto of a psi
\nScaramouche, scaramouche will you do the fandango
\nAction at a distance, very very spooky to me<\/i>
\nGallileo, Gallileo,
\nGallileo, Gallileo,
\nGallileo where’d you go? I don’t know (oh, oh, oh)<\/i><\/p>\n

I’m just a physicist, nobody loves me
\n\t\tNo information has speeds more than c
\n\t\tSpare all our brains from non-locality<\/i>
\nEasy come easy go – will you let me go
\n\tBell’s theorem! No – we will not let you go <\/b>

\n\t\tlet him go<\/i>
\n\tBell’s theorem! We will not let you go <\/b>

\n\t\tlet him clone<\/i>
\n\tNo cloning! We will not let you clone <\/b>

\nlet me go
\n\tWill not let you go <\/b>

\nlet me go (never)
\n\tNever let you go <\/b>
\nlet me go
\nNever let me go – ooo
\n\tNo, no, no, no, no, no, no <\/b>
\nOh mama mia, mama mia, mama mia let me go
\nHeisenberg has a matrix put aside for me
\nfor me
\nfor meeeeeee<\/p>\n

So you think you can stone me and spit in my eye
\nAnd then decohere me and collapse my psi
\nOh baby – can’t do this to me baby
\nJust gotta get out – just gotta get right outta here<\/p>\n

Ooh yeah, ooh yeah
\nNothing really exists
\nWhen no-one can see
\nNothing really exists – nothing really matters to me<\/p>\n

Anyway the wind blows…<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

<\/p>\n

If you want a reminder of the tune, and a better parody than I’m capable of, look here:<\/p>\n

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A few of the more obscure jokes explained for the less geeky:<\/p>\n