“OK, thanks very much. I’ll pick it up at six, or a little after.” I hang up the phone. I can feel the dog’s eyes on my back.<\/p>\n
“So what was that about?” she asks.<\/p>\n
“Oh, that was the Ford dealer,” I say casually. “They’re done with my car.” The dashboard lit up like a Christmas tree a few days ago when I was leaving work– all sorts of brake-related idiot lights, plus the odometer went completely blank. I spent the weekend driving a rented Kia.<\/p>\n
“What was wrong with it?” she asks, with exaggerated casualness.<\/p>\n
“Oh, you know, some problems with the wiring…”<\/p>\n
“What kind of problem with the wiring?”<\/p>\n
I mumble something softly under my breath.<\/p>\n
“I can’t hear you…”<\/p>\n
“Yes you can. You’re a dog, you have excellent hearing. But, fine,” I sigh heavily. “Some of the wires near the brake system had been chewed by rodents…”<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
“HAH!” she says. “I KNEW<\/em> it! All that squirrel activity had to mean they were up to no good…”<\/p>\n “Yeah, yeah, yeah. They’re evil squirrels, I know…” She’s been a little obsessed.<\/p>\n “Of course they’re evil squirrels! They’re squirrels! They’re all evil! Squeaky and evil!”<\/p>\n “Yes, I know, we’ve been through this…”<\/p>\n “They’re trying to kill you! You and the human puppy both. They almost managed to cut your brakes– don’t you think they deserve barking at?”<\/p>\n “Fine, you’re right, they’re evil squirrels, and you’re right to chase them.”<\/p>\n “I told–“<\/p>\n “Don’t!” I interrupt. “Don’t say ‘I told you so.’ Only bad dogs say ‘I told you so.'”<\/p>\n “Oh. I’m a good dog, though.”<\/p>\n “Yes, you are. You’re the best.” I stand up, and go to get my coat. “Come on, we’ll go for a walk.”<\/p>\n “Ooooh! And can we chase squirrels?”<\/p>\n “Yes, you can chase all the squirrels you want.”<\/p>\n “Yippeeeee!!!” she races off to the back door.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" “OK, thanks very much. I’ll pick it up at six, or a little after.” I hang up the phone. I can feel the dog’s eyes on my back. “So what was that about?” she asks. “Oh, that was the Ford dealer,” I say casually. “They’re done with my car.” The dashboard lit up like a… Continue reading Revenge of the Squirrels<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"1","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[20,2,24],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-4125","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-dog","category-personal","category-silliness","entry"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/chadorzel.com\/principles\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4125","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/chadorzel.com\/principles\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/chadorzel.com\/principles\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/chadorzel.com\/principles\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/chadorzel.com\/principles\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=4125"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/chadorzel.com\/principles\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4125\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/chadorzel.com\/principles\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=4125"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/chadorzel.com\/principles\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=4125"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/chadorzel.com\/principles\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=4125"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}