{"id":2023,"date":"2007-12-01T07:24:45","date_gmt":"2007-12-01T07:24:45","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/scienceblogs.com\/principles\/2007\/12\/01\/ninja-squirrel\/"},"modified":"2007-12-01T07:24:45","modified_gmt":"2007-12-01T07:24:45","slug":"ninja-squirrel","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/chadorzel.com\/principles\/2007\/12\/01\/ninja-squirrel\/","title":{"rendered":"Ninja Squirrel"},"content":{"rendered":"

“Fear! Fire! Foes! Awake! Fear! Fire! Foes! Awake!”<\/p>\n

“Stop that! What in hell are you barking at?” I look out the window. “It’s a squirrel. Why are you barking like that at a single squirrel on the tree outside?”<\/p>\n

“It’s an evil squirrel! A threat to the home!”<\/p>\n

“No, it’s not. It’s little and furry and harmless.”<\/p>\n

“Dude, you’re wrong. Squirrels are dangerous. They’re like ninjas. Haven’t you seen that video?”<\/p>\n

“What video?”<\/p>\n

<\/param><\/param><\/embed><\/object><\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

“See! See!”<\/p>\n

“OK, fine, there is at least one squirrel somewhere in the UK that has been trained to have ninja skills by somebody with way too much free time.”<\/p>\n

“I told you!”<\/p>\n

“But the squirrel in the video is not the same squirrel that’s in our back yard right now, so stop with the wild barking.”<\/p>\n

“How can you be sure? They all look alike.”<\/p>\n

I look out the window. I look at the video. I look out the window. “You have a point. Maybe you should go outside and chase it off, just to be safe.”<\/p>\n

“Ooooo!” She races for the back door, claws scrabbling on the linoleum in the kitchen.<\/p>\n

She’s a very silly dog, but it doesn’t hurt to humor her.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

“Fear! Fire! Foes! Awake! Fear! Fire! Foes! Awake!” “Stop that! What in hell are you barking at?” I look out the window. “It’s a squirrel. Why are you barking like that at a single squirrel on the tree outside?” “It’s an evil squirrel! A threat to the home!” “No, it’s not. It’s little and furry… Continue reading Ninja Squirrel<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"1","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[24],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2023","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-silliness","entry"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/chadorzel.com\/principles\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2023","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/chadorzel.com\/principles\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/chadorzel.com\/principles\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/chadorzel.com\/principles\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/chadorzel.com\/principles\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2023"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/chadorzel.com\/principles\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2023\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/chadorzel.com\/principles\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2023"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/chadorzel.com\/principles\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2023"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/chadorzel.com\/principles\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2023"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}