{"id":194,"date":"2006-04-17T11:55:08","date_gmt":"2006-04-17T11:55:08","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/scienceblogs.com\/principles\/2006\/04\/17\/the-string-theory-diet\/"},"modified":"2006-04-17T11:55:08","modified_gmt":"2006-04-17T11:55:08","slug":"the-string-theory-diet","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/chadorzel.com\/principles\/2006\/04\/17\/the-string-theory-diet\/","title":{"rendered":"The String Theory Diet"},"content":{"rendered":"

Are you unhappy with the way you look? Feel like you’re carrying around some large extra dimensions? Want to compactify your manifold before the summer conference season gets here?<\/p>\n

If you answered “Yes!” to any of those questions, then you’re ready for the String Theory Diet!<\/p>\n

Each rich, satisfying meals of eleven-dimensional noodles, and watch the pounds melt away! You’ll lose weight so fast, your friends will think that gravity is leaking off your brane and affecting them more than you! You’ll be your own walking hierarchy problem!<\/p>\n

You can lose as much as one Planck mass per Planck time (individual loss rates may vary; past results do not guarantee future performance)<\/i> using our simple three-step plan. The tenured research job and New York Times<\/cite> best-selling pop science book of your dreams are within your reach!<\/p>\n

(Click “Read On” for the diet that wil change your life!)<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

Actually, I’ve got nothing for you. I just noticed two recurring patterns in blog traffic:<\/p>\n

    \n
  1. Posts dealing with string theory, even in passing, get a minimum of ten comments.<\/li>\n
  2. Posts dealing with weight loss issues, even in passing, get a minimum of ten comments.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    I figured a post titled “The String Theory Diet” ought to get into the triple digits… I just wish I had a halfway serious diet plan to go with it– it’d be like a licence to print money.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

    Are you unhappy with the way you look? Feel like you’re carrying around some large extra dimensions? Want to compactify your manifold before the summer conference season gets here? If you answered “Yes!” to any of those questions, then you’re ready for the String Theory Diet! Each rich, satisfying meals of eleven-dimensional noodles, and watch… Continue reading The String Theory Diet<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"1","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[34,7,24,14],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-194","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-food","category-physics","category-silliness","category-string_theory","entry"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/chadorzel.com\/principles\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/194","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/chadorzel.com\/principles\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/chadorzel.com\/principles\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/chadorzel.com\/principles\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/chadorzel.com\/principles\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=194"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/chadorzel.com\/principles\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/194\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/chadorzel.com\/principles\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=194"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/chadorzel.com\/principles\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=194"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/chadorzel.com\/principles\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=194"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}